Attachment Parenting is Actually Working...

When I was in my 20's, I needed some time to figure out my life trajectory and I needed money. So I decided that being a Nanny might be fun. I liked kids, I needed the money, so why not? I remember scrolling through many job listings across the country for all kinds of families who were looking for full time nannys. Many jobs had the specification that their nanny utilize attachment parenting. I was VERY quick to skip over those jobs. My internal response was: "Blah - fluffy parenting. Kids will be wild. Not enough boundaries or discipline." Boy did life throw me a curve ball when it came to attachment. Fast forward to today: I am a parent now, and parenting is hard. At least as a nanny, I could return the kids at the end of the day.

Raising both humans often feels like a rollercoaster ride. Just when you think you’ve figured out one part or established a good routine, the next stage of development hits, and you’re back to square one, scrambling to figure out what works. While parenting is one of life’s greatest joys, it doesn’t always feel that way. When big feelings, chaotic behaviors, or challenging moments with kiddos arise, it can leave us questioning our actions, choices, or even our own competency as parents.

We all want to enjoy our kids, but sometimes it just feels like a slog and we can't get to a place of enjoyment. It just feels like work. On the days when joy seems to be in short supply, those are the days that leave me feeling exhausted, disappointed, and wondering if I’m missing something important. When my partner comes home and asks how my day was, the best I can usually give is "gah!" or "it was a day".

In my early 30's, I actually learned about attachment theory and how it practically applies to parenting. It has completely shifted my perspective on parenting, and with it, my relationships with my kids. And if I'm being honest, it also completely changed my relationship with my partner at the same time. It shifted the way I approach difficult moments and helped me build a deeper understanding and connection with those I love. The best part? Attachment totes that it's not about perfect parenting - what a relief. It didn't provide another exhausting to-do list (I'm so good at making all the to-do lists, and putting pressure on myself to not only do it all, but do it perfectly). And you know what? Attachment-informed parenting is actually making a difference. There are days when I look at my partner with slight disbelief that this attachment stuff actually works. I'm not sure why I am surprised given the extensive amount of research I have read on attachment, but it still feels like a miracle some days. And I'll take it.

I have discovered that when my family is doing well, I’m doing well. When my kids had a good day, I had a good day —and vice versa. Our relationships with those closest to us are so deeply connected to our own sense of wellness. This understanding has fueled my passion for supporting other parents on their parenting journeys. I want you to not only enjoy your kids, but to feel confident in your parenting abilities—because life is honestly hard enough with everything else going on in our world today. Nothing reveals how quickly time passes quite like watching our kids grow. We all want to enjoy them now, at this age.

If you're a skeptic, I get it, I've been there. Now I have front row seats to the positive effect this parenting approach is having on both my kids and my own mental health and family dynamics. Why not give it a try? Speaking as an attachment convert, change is possible, and it will make difference.